Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
