Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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