Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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