is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
