No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
