Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
