Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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