question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Randomize
