I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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