My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
