since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
