just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
