I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
