I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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