Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
