i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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