Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
