My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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