Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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