Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize