3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
