my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
