Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
