Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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