when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
