I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
