susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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