dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
