...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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