Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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