Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
