Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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