I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
