A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
