It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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