whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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