Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
