i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
