just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
