i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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