People in love make me want to vomit
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
