i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize