Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
