I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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