i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize