Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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