You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You ruined the universe
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
