I have demons in me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
