Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
