the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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