Quick, to the slutcave!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
