he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
