Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
