I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
