Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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