Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
