Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
that's an acceptable place to lick
two words: eviction party
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
