it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
