Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
