you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
