He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
