butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
