you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
