Don't you send me to vm
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
