And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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