Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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