Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
