he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The beer is more important than you right now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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