glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
