I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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