he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
