We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
