I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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