I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
