Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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