I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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